Day: The Sixteenth

Its a transit day, really. I get away from the hotel about 11, and straight away know I'm dehydrated, my new B80 belt has let me down and it's very very hot. I doubt very much that all the events were linked, but you never know. The first problem is solved, along with the third, by quickly spotting an aircon coffee shop. Along the road was a trestle table and tarp market. This belt cost me B100, ($4) so it had better last longer.

The ride to Ko Samet (or Kho Samet, or Ko Samed or Kho Samat or any combination) was pretty normal Thai countryside of small farms, but the road edge was almost continuous strip developments, small shops houses, office blocks etc, as well as about ten resort developments with the occasional random mega highrise by the sea.

I got to the Ko Samet  ferries about 3.30, and asked about taking the scoot to the island. I was told no, and it would cost B50 a day to park it. Bugger, it would cost me B300 a day to hire another scooter on the island.

The ferry was an old wooden two decker, slightly sway-backed and vaguely junk-like. The nine of us aboard occupied a small area upstairs, out of at least 60 seats. There seemed to be at least three ferry companies, all running on the hour..... So there was a bit of a rush to get out the harbour and on the way. It seemed to be there was a way for one of the companies to get a sales advantage, by going on the half hour....

About 40 min of diesel thumping later, we pulled up beside two identical ferries at a wharf on the island. This means we have to jump from one ferry to the next, in a reasonable swell, until we reach the concrete. There, it's a jumble of jetties and wharfs, old and being built, with people loading and unloading about a dozen boats. There's a big new wharf being built, by workers, almost completely covered, even faces with scarves. Arc welders are being used while only wearing sunglasses or nothing at all, grinders without eye protection, and about one in five has a hard hat.

I've found a guest house that looks interesting on Tripadviser. The owner is a Scot, called Lizzy. I've never seen reviews so polarised. It seems everyone either loves Lizzy or hates her. A ride on the back of a pickup to Baan Puu Paan (Baan-house, Puu-of, Paan-commander, The Commander's House) cost B150, over a narrow broken up strip of concrete. I'm greeted by a shortish mid-40s tanned blonde woman, with a deep Glaswegian voice, and a big smile. "I'm Lizzy, do you want a drink?"

"Actually, a room, but I'm not booked"

There's three spare rooms out of six, so I choose the more modest one, not over the water, but it looks out over the sea and is only half the price at $28 a night. Big double bed, air con, shower over toilet cubicle with only cold water (however by the time its been in the outside water tank for a while, its not that cold). I unpack, rest for a while and then walk around the building  to the restaurant for that beer.

Lizzy is there doing what she does best, pouring drinks, and telling stories. Some of the drinks she is pouring are for herself. You see Lizzy rather likes a drink. I gather it runs in the family a bit. Her birthday is 3rd january, and her mother was dead drunk at the time, from an on-going New Years party.

One of the reasons for coming here, other then the apparently outrageous (but becoming more believable by the minute) stories about the host, was the reputation of the food. Even the reviews that said don't stay here said come here to eat. The chef is a self-taught 20 yr old Thai guy who has a real talent. Lizzy gives him free rein, he orders and makes whatever he wants. I had baguette roasted with goat cheese, Moroccan Tuna Skewers, and chilli scallops spaghetti. Fan-fucking-tastic. He also makes little chilled spoon deserts which the staff give away to anyone waking past. I had a clotted cream and fudge with a mint leaf. Espresso and a Black Label mmmmmmm.

In the mean time, Lizzy is telling stories about her nine years in Thailand. Legally and morally, I probably can't repeat them in entirety, but they included lines like "and there he was with his block and tackle hanging out" and "I grabbed the blind guy's hand, rubbed it on my tits and said ta him "Even though I've got a deep voice, that's braille for woman""!!

Day: The Fifteenth

I'm going to be really boring and say not much happened today other than a visit to a doctor to get some antibiotics for my eyes. The water and grit off the road didn't do them any favours. Doctors surgery efficient and modern, set up for people with money and very western.

There's a cafe (daytime)/bar (night) nearby that I have come to frequent. The two waitresses have been a great source of information about life in Thailand. They come from the north, around where April and I were, but a bit more west. Its a poor area, with difficult conditions on small farms and many of the children leave to find work in the south to help their families. One had a mother who was Kumpuchiean, escaped from Pol Pot. They politely don't notice my red gummy eyes, and in fact help me find the doctors.

Day: The Fourteenth

Quiet day, finally got into the book I started on the plane. Went for a walk along the beach in the afternoon and found that a three day cultural festival was starting. At least a thousand school girls and boys dressed in national and/or regional costumes were dancing and singing in groups of about twenty. There was displays of Buddhist and Hindu material, even stuffed bears, tigers and deer. Unfortunately the singing and dancing went on quite late, and the PA system was quite impressive... The scratchy eyes I have from the rainy ride down have got worse. Dinner was Thai (wasn't else really?) fish cake filed by charcoal bbq fish. Actually, that's all I had to eat all day, but I did have a coffee in a cafe about 2. It was about the worst coffee that wasn't instant that I ever had the misfortune to drink. It was also the most expensive I have had here at B60 ($2.20). A word about the beer here. There are four main brands, owned by two companies. Liked pretty much everywhere in Asia  it's lager. Most people don't even know there's any other sorry of beer. Mostly people drink Leo if you are on a low budget (quite good, even by cheap NZ lager standard) at around $0.70¢ per individual can at the 7/Eleven, Chang which it a strong lager at 6.4 minimum (all beers are sold at minimum alcohol level; rumour had it that Chang can sometimes be much higher if your lucky...or unlucky as the case may be... Known to cause "Chang-overs".), and Singha. Singha is by far the best tasting with strong honey and fudge notes. Even by the individual bottle at the 7/Eleven it's only about $1 a small bottle and $1.70 for a big one. You can buy Thai whiskey for about $6 a bottle, but anything imported is hugely expensive. I had a Thai whiskey with a late night coffee in Chiang Mai, and it was ok. The surprising thing is I have seen very little, if any, signs of public intoxication. Expect for Khoisan Rd, backpacker central of course, and you can't blame the Thais for that.

Abed by 10

Day: The Thirteenth

Packed, paid, and ready for the scooter at 10.30. It's an attractive beastie, black, long and low. I dub it "The Luxo-Barge". There is space under the seat for two helmets, so I reduce my already minimal gear, and put just one of the two pannier bags I have with me in there. It saves having to figure out a way of protecting the nearly new bike's flanks from the pannier bag straps.

It takes nearly an hour for three staff members to map out a route for me across Bangkok and on the road south. The problem is we are on the north-west side and I need to go out the south-east side. I take three turns and immediately get lost. I make it a fair way in the general direction, but realise I could be hours asking people, but my accent makes it difficult for people to understand where I am asking about. In the end I flag down a moto-taxi (they are everywhere, bike riders wearing red vests, often with helmet-less ladies sitting side-saddle getting a lift. He guides me to the start of the road I need to take. It costs me B200 ($8), and takes about five years off my life! This guy makes a living out of getting thru Bangkok traffic as quickly as possible. In the half hour it took, had it been in NZ, I would have got at least forty tickets, been arrested six times and faced a firing squad. And it had started to rain...

I am now on the main road south. The first big place on the road is Chon Buri so this is what I have been asking for. Its about 55 km from where I now am. I know there's an expressway, but I can't use a motorbike on it. That's why it took the lovely people at the inn so long to plan my (long abandoned) route across the city. Not long after I start on the main route I see a sign for Chon Buri, and follow it. Next thing I'm up on the expressway...where I'm not supposed to be... The first toll booth I arrive at, all hell breaks loose. There's revolving red lights all over the place and a siren is blaring. I think "ok, we are about to play a new game; fine the stupid tourist". The lady in the toll booth just looks at me, aghast. An angry man runs over, yells at me in Thai and points to the next off-ramp. Whew, got off lightly.

When I get back down to ground level, I finally work out the signage. Green for low level roads, blue for upper level. Its an amazing road. The expressway is mounted way up high on single centred slender Y-shaped legs under the six lanes roadway. It's so high up that it haas to be at least ten, maybe fifteen meters above the ground. Directly underneath there are two lanes in each direction, with entry ramps onto these lanes every 1.5 km. In the middle there are links to the two lanes going back the other way. Outside those two lanes there are two more lanes that have all the feeding side roads, businesses etc. Bikes and trucks etc are all on the lower roads. This went on for more than 50 km!! The good thing for me about being under the expressway was that it was wider than the road I was on, and it was pouring rain. I stayed dry! Until it ended.... Then I got really wet.

Getting wet in a tropical country is a different  experience. The water is warm and in some ways it's pleasant. However, mix that with four lanes filled with thousands, trucks and overloaded utes weaving between lanes, and throwing up masses of spray, and its seriously scary. Add to that, after the end of the expressway, the traffic is mixed and the road is made of concrete with some damaged sections and lots of longitudinal seams. In a car this is no problem, but on a bike the tyres trend to get rut-bound in the seams. I only had the open face helmet supplied with the bike, so my glasses were covered in spray and road grit, making it hard to avoid the seams. With the heavy rain the road was a bit slippery, so I had three heart-stopping moments when the bike got into a seam, then crossed up and a got a bit sideways. Being completely surrounded by trucks meant that there were definitely times I questioned what I was doing.(!)

However, I got to the hotel I had booked via tripadviser. It's ok, half a block back from the beach, with a narrow view of the sea over a number of rough buildings. There's lots of seafood restaurants but the beach is covered with umbrellas, chairs and stalls. I had and very nice squid with holy basil at a seafood place out over the sea. Did I mention that it's my favourite Thai dish? (c:

I'll plot up here for a day or so, get some laundry done and then I think I'll go to Koh Samet, a little island nearby.

Day: The Twelfth

Time to take April back to Bangkok, to catch her flight home. Its been great staying at Vanilla Place, Mr & Mrs Kem are great hosts, and looked after us really well. We get out to the airport at Chiang Mai with plenty of time to spare, and soon Nok Air have us on the one hour flight to Bangkok. We have about three hours to get back to the little inn and get April luggage sorted and get her back to the international terminal. W have about 30 minutes to spare so decide to whip down the street for one last pad thai for lunch. As usual April shows them the card she had about her seafood allergy, especially after last night. She was not a happy bunny when, half way thru she finds shrimp. She immediately hits the heavy duty allergy meds, and I get her a taxi, as she thinks she will be ok. She does get home without too much of a problem as it turns out.

I do some serious blogging catch up, and repack my bags ready for the bike trip that starts tomorrow. I opt for the easy dinner of staying at the inn and eating spring rolls, and pork with holy basil, probably my favourite thai dish. I'm rally looking forward to the riding tomorrow. I have booked a Honda PCX, a scooter of the maxi-scooter style (although at 125cc its really a mini-maxi-scooter...)

Day: The Eleventh

Last full day with April, and we decide to ride to the top of the mountain that the monsoon drove us off a few days earlier. Its a really great ride, all bends and uphill, good surface and side except for the last 10km when the road is strictly one lane and even bikes have to get right over to let another pass. April is riding really well, with growing confidence and getting much better at picking her line through the corners.

Last time we came up here it was a Buddhist holiday festival. The place was a seething mass of the faithful, buses cars, bikes everywhere. Today there is hardly anyone and most of the stalls near the temple are shuttered. We forgot to gas up before leaving the city, so we make a stop at the shops here where last time we saw a petrol seller. I ask at a shop where they say they can sell us fuel. The lady disappears for ages. In the meantime April finds the sand we saw the day before, bottles of petrol for B40. Eventually the lady comes back with two bottles she probably syphoned out of a car, and say B50. No, we say and move to type other stand. Its not until we gas up later that day and pay B42 at the pump that we realise that the bottles of fuel that the guy had for B40 were small.... Sorry lady!

We get to the point we reached last time, and ended up waiting in the rain for an hour. This time we carry on and sure enough just a couple of km further on the visitors centre and coffee appear. Still, the little hit we stopped in last time was a good place to watch a monsoonal rain storm from and we did meet a nice Thai couple there.

We spy a dirt track leading uphill from the car park, and decide to see if we can ride any higher. The dirt quickly turns to smooth clay and the grade gets steeper. April in front comes to a halt through lack of traction, and as I am too close and the surface is too slippery to stop I try to keep going. I get about 4m more and even though my back wheel is turning, we slither backwards. I pull the bike around to try to avoid running into April, and see she has stepped away from her bike as it had decided to have a wee "rest".  Lots of laughter and a photo opportunity. The smallest of grazes on Aprils shin. It turned out the track was to some Hill Tribe peoples settlement, so it probably was better that we didn't suddenly appear in the middle of their lunch time. We took some photos for Kiwi Rider magazine, and hope to get into their small regular feature entitled "They're  Reading Our Magazine Where?".

A fab ride back down and Google maps on a smart phone does a pretty good job of getting us and the bikes back to Tonys Big Bikes. Its in the Old City, do the streets are narrow. At one stage we are stopped by a man with a whistle. These guys are employed by hotels and big businesses to step out into the busy traffic to let vehicles get out. This time its for a huge tour bus that is trying to back out of an even smaller alley. The bus is so tall and the roads so narrow that they need someone on each corner giving directions. It even had the overhead power lines twanging. Eventually it makes forward progress, and April, exercising her newfound traffic filtering skills, manages to slip through a "wafer thin gap".

We are welcomed back at Tonys by a nice Englishman called Jeff who is Tonys partner. We lets us off a few hours late fee, mainly because we had brought the bikes back full of gas, when they had been a bit low when we picked them up. He very kindly overlooked the mud from our motocrossing. A tuktuk ride took took (sorry) us back to the markets. I bought Lee her main present from an antique shop run by some Karin people. April replace her Rayban glasses that she ran over yesterday and we go home to rest before going out for a final night celebration dinner.

We find a nice restaurant that has everything on their menu that we are looking for and order. April, as usual, shows them the card she carries explaining about her allergy to seafood. They nod and say they understand, but later that night the poor wee darling spends three hours "calling for Ralph" into her hand basin. It was no use calling for Dad, he was coma'ed out, and wouldn't wake up. Sorry, darling.

Day: The Tenth

Big ride day today. We did a lap of Doi Su Thep, a big mountain next to Chiang Mai. What a ride! It had everything, city madness as we left and returned, stunning scenery, corners and hills, some serious offload trial riding, even some road racing.... And a picnic! Onya April for the picnic idea. The corner store was asking huge money for your traditional kiwi picnic stuff (imported) so we cheated and bought a foot long at Subway. There are a line of roadside fruit stalls on the way out of town so I bought half kilo of rambutan, a bunch of small extra sweet ladies finger bananas (tree ripened fruit of any description is so much better then fruit picked green) and half kilo of dragon fruit which was three fruit. Rambutan look like hairy red ping pong balls and taste like lychee only better, dragon fruit are bizarre looking, pink and even more pink on the inside. They taste quite bland, a little like kiwifruit with a hint of earthy carrot. Wish I could put up a picture.

About half an hour in, we stopped for drinks, iced chocolate for April, coffee for me. The road around the mountain is made for bikes, great surface and s-bend combinations that go on for kilometres, up and down the ridges, with towering trees and graceful bamboo, small villages, farms, banana palms growing wild and not much traffic. We stopped often and took photos, and took videos while we were riding. Around lunch time I spotted a side road with potential. It was a one lane strip of concrete that ran off into the jungle for miles. Covered in moss and leaves, it was obvious that it was seldom used and in places the bikes struggled with the steep grade. There was a loud squawk from April when a small black animal almost ran into her front wheel (probably a squirrel). We ate our sandwich sitting on the ground with only the sounds of the jungle to be heard. By that I mean there were various animal noises, and I'm pretty sure one was a distant gibbon (and not one of Mums relatives!). On the animal note a bit farther on I stopped to wait for April, and there were two elephants in the trees looking at me!

There were a few other foreigners riding bikes as this is a well known loop that's a good days ride. Most were on scooters or scooter-style motorbikes like the ones we had but some had forked out the big Baht to hire bigger sports bikes. I  stopped a few times to video April riding the bends and at one point a couple of other tourists on big Kawasaki motard-style bikes came past. For those outside the biking circles, these are big bore trailbikes with road wheels, tyres and brakes, and perfect for this style of road. They passed me at the start of an uphill section and I thrashed the little Honda trying to keep up. I made up lots of ground on the numerous hairpin bends but they had heaps of power over my little 125cc Honda Steppie. By the time I got to the top of the ridge, the bike was a bit lighter, having worn away some of the ends of the footpegs! They were about 50m in front and had been looking back at me for most of the way up. On the way up we had also passed April, with one of them carving her up going into a corner and then almost turning into her. They were trying by this stage, so I took great delight in taking both of them about a third of the way down and getting to the bottom in time to get my camera out before they got there. As they went past, they didn't even smile or wave... It was then that I saw the elephants.

A bit farther on we a sign by a bridge pointing up a walking track to a waterfall. The track looked like perfect trail riding so I convinced April we should ride it. It forked a few times and we ended up in a farm compound at one point (probably some of the hill tribe people that are fairly common around here still), but after a bit of doubling back we found the waterfalls. There was three young boys swimming in the river who were a bit surprised to see two foreigners, also swimming, but in their own sweat. April was not too keen on trail riding, even before she bounced her new "Raybans"out of the front basket and ran over them.... However she replaced them with two new pairs for about $12.

We got back, and found our hotel quite easily. We were starting to learn the street layout finally. We both declared it a fine days riding, even if Aprils bike started to fart about a bit once you got it on to the main jet. My bike was named Mona on account of the hideous noises from the back brake that startled other road users off the road, thinking a truck had sneaked up on them. Aprils was christened "Chuck", in tribute to her hero Chuck Norris.

Day: The Ninth

I think I've said already, but one of the main motivations for me to travel is food. I love Thai food. When Lee says "shall we buy something for dinner?" my usual first thought is "is there a Thai place close by?" It wasn't too hard a decision to make to go to a Thai cooking class. In fact it was one of the main reasons why I wanted to skip upping anchor and heading off after two days here. We went to a cooking school that is on a farm outside Chiang Mai, that lets you select five dishes from a list of fifteen and then gets all the ingredients ready for you to just whip a Thai culinary masterpiece up. And boy did we whip. April and I both said afterwards that what we ate was every bit the equal of anything we had ever bought. Bloody yummy. It's amazing what you can produce when someone puts down exactly the right ingredients, proportions, and talks you thru, step by step, exactly how to cook it..... Actually, no, come to think about it, its not really that amazing.... Anyway, part of the course cost included a book with the "how to" but in it. Highlight of the day was NOT having to do the class with the bunch of young, loud, arrogant american backpackers we travelled out to the farm with. Was it just a coincidence that all the Americans ended up in the same kitchen? One of them kindly took time out from his yapping about the cheap hotels in Laos that he had stayed in (much better and cheaper than Chiang Mai apparently) to impart unto april that her camera was crap compared to his. Oh god, I'm sure I just offended someone there.

So anyway, expect some top notch Thai kai when I get home.

Speaking of food, April wanted to relax and read in her room that night so I went to the Belgian Beer Bar (well you do, when you are in Thailand, right?). While there a guy sitting at the next table recognised my accent. He was from the US but he had lived in chch for six months in 2001. Now he had a business taking gap year kids to countries where they worked on aid projects. On the way back to our hotel I stopped in at a bar almost next door that was playing some good music; ska and rocksteady with a bit of reggae a well. They even played a Katchafire song when they heard I was from NZ. A six piece with a brass section. Lots of music from my youth, Specials, Madness, Selector, UB40. I guess I stood out. There was only three of us there.

Home late...

Day: The Eighth

Today we decide that a ride to the highest mountain is in order, seeing as yesterday turned out to be a bit of an undomesticated water fowl pursuit. I was feeling fairly crap at breakfast, so we decided to delay leaving for an hour or two. I used the time to read a guidebook, which confirmed what the proprietor of the hotel had said: namely that even though it was only a 100km from here to the top, the last 40 km would take at least four hours return. April had taken the time to get her nails done at a massage/beauty parlor close by. I was persuaded to have a Thai massage (back/neck/shoulders, $12/hr). April paid for me, thank god, because at the end I was completely incapable of controlled movement.... I was so relaxed that they poured me into my boots. Later we went to a mall April had found out about (starting to see a theme here??). The latest Harry Potter movie in English with a thai subtitle was about to start. The only other time I have watched a Harry Potter movie was with April in Cairns, in 2003. Starting to see another theme?

The day seemed to disappear, food, a little shopping, and restarting blogging seemed to take care of the day quite nicely.

Day: TheDay: The Fourth To Seventh Part Fore

So the next morning April and I made an executive decision; one more night in Chiang Mai because we wanted to ride up the highest mountain in Thailand which is close by. We booked another night here at Vanilla Place (well why not? Its very close to everything that we want, walking distance to food, the old town (a Nigel aside:, in the centre of Chiang Mai, there is the remains of the wall of the old walled city. Its really big and must have taken a huge amount of time and effort. The old wall enclosed 1.8 sq kilometres and on two sides its over 1 km long. There were gates in the middle of each side and a stepped series of moats the whole way around. The steps were because, although it's a regular rectangle, there is a very noticeable slope down to one corner. This is helping my navigation because the corner closest to our hotel is the lowest corner. The wall was about four metres high, and at least that thick, made of solid laid brick, not earth and brick or stone and earth like many European castle walls. I have no idea how many bricks went into it, but it is at least hundreds of millions. There's no rock nearby so bricks it was. There's lots of ordinary businesses inside the old city but a lot of tourist-based businesses too.)

Anyhooo, we think a ride up a big mountain is the go for the day. We find our way around the moat to the diagonally opposite corner and up the slope we go heading for Doi Suteph. Its a gentle but obvious uphill that slowly becomes steeper. It goes from three lanes down to two (but bare in mind that lanes are a very nominal concept here) and starts to get very twisty. Great riding road, but masses of traffic heading up hill. We ride in a veritable swarm of bikes, pretty much all about the same as we are riding. There's about one car, truck or bus for about 20 bikes. The reason there's so goddamn many people on the road become apparent after we get about 2/3rd the way up and stop at a small settlement for coffee. There's an important buddhist temple here and this day (friday) is a religious holiday. We wander around the temple, two of thousands walking, photographing, eating, watching various school/religious groups performing, ringing religious bell assemblies, and praying. I must admit to doing very little, if any, praying.

We head on uphill, and immediately the road gets more narrow and the traffic disappears. Before too long, the road is only 1 1/4 lanes, with dead leaves on the edges and vines draping the road. It starts to rain as we get to what seems like the top. There's a hexagonal shelter so we run out of the monsoon rain and prepare to wait out the downpour. Soon two other bikes also stop and an interesting three way conversation grows between the young Thai couple of university students, April and I, and French guy who is unusually defensive. I didn't even mention the Rainbow Warrior! It was also a bit of a surprise to me to find out that this was not the tallest mountain in thailand... Oh well, it was a great ride and the 20 Baht

lunch was grand.

April had had enough as she was wet and, for the first time in weeks, cold. We headed down and the rain eased. Two throw-away plastic ponchos were purchased from a roadside shop, and home we went.

Getting home, we realise that there is plenty more that we want to see and do in Chiang Mai, so we cancel the next hotel we have booked and extend our stay at the Vanilla Place. Nothing is too much problem for the owners.

Day: The Fourth To The Seventh, Part Tree

In the morning we breakfast, and grab a tuktuk to the old city (a Nigel aside here, maybe two... A tuktuk is an ancient three wheeled auto-rickshaw that are all over Thailand, powered by a simple two cylinder Subaru two-smoke engine with a distinctive sound, hence the name, with one wheel at the front and two at the back. They are steered by handlebars, and have a car type gearshift and foot pedals but a motorbike style twist grip throttle. There is a low roof over top and a single seat in the back designed to two people but in practise can seat oh, about a dozen I'd guess...  They have not been made for years (decades?) But there are so many thousands of then in Thailand there is a complete industry dedicated to keeping them on the roads. No taxi meter means price is set by negotiation... The Thai are honest people which means if a tuktuk driver can get you to agree to an outrageous price, then its technically NOT ripping you off. Usually the driver hopes you will just jump in so they can set the price once you get there. If you ask how much to get somewhere, the usual response is "yes yes, get in". If you ask again, they realise you are at least a bit savvy and will give you a price that would make a locals eyes water. After that, you get down to some serious negotiation.)

We agreed on a price to get to Tony's Big Bikes  and by the big grin we know it's a lucky day for this guy, but when you have absolutely no idea of how far you have to go (250m? That's happened to me!) you just have to be happy with the outcome.

Tony's had two bikes waiting outside for us, and as we had them booked for give days, they were  B150  a day, $6. Two Honda Waves, one 125 and one 100cc. These are grown-up Honda C50s, step-thrus with auto clutch but four speed gear boxes, manual shift. April was not happy with the all-down-front-pedal-for-up-and-back-pedal-down-for-down gear shift (those of us who grew up on Honda CT 90 farm bikes will know what I mean). She's over it now... She was also not happy with the empty fuel tank... We went off to find some waterfalls and the butterfly farm. It was an instant lesson in Asian traffic. Lane marking is for sissies! Don't wait for gaps in the traffic, the traffic makes gaps for you! Roadsigns, what roadsigns? Speed limit? Helmet laws? As foreign a concept as we were! Needless to say, we immediately got lost and ended up about 30km past the turnoff we wanted. After back tracking, we started looking around. Found a very up-market coffee and at gallery, and had a truly great espresso (sorry upshot) and ice cream, then off up a side road into the hills. April had spotted a little sign saying waterfall, but I don't think many people do because the lady at the gate was really surprised to see us. It seems you pay to see natural attractions (or was it just this one?) So we forked out B120 each and walked off to see the falls. Nice, but smallish. However, the sight of April spotting a spider with a leg spread about the size of the palm of my hand was worth the price of admission alone!

There ride home thru rush hour traffic ended up like some mad computer game, but getting lost in the alleys and crazy one way system for nearly an hour was not so much fun. The one way system, put in to get traffic to flow through the old narrow streets does really strange stuff like dump you out into streets were you end up on the wrong side of the road, were the lanes are reversed and for a block you drive ala USA! Now that's freaky.

,

Day: The Fourth To The Seventh, Part Too

Ok, so its now Wednesday morning. We catch the railcar to Chiang Mai from Bangkok Central and its only 15 minutes late which is apparently a small miracle. It's about half "farangs" and half locals, three cars and a driver at each end! The one at our end at the back does a lot of sleeping, so he should be right for the trip back... There's a lady assigned to each car as a hostess, and we even get lunch, plus three coffee and snack breaks. Its an 800km trip that takes 12 hours though the middle of Thailand north of Bangkok. Its got air con to die from (of hypothermia, shit but was it cold...April had to borrow my jumper and even the hostess was wearing a jacket). A twelve hour trip gets you through a lot of countryside, the first 2/3s was flat and almost all rice fields and villages, the last 1/3 we climbed into the hills. All this for $24 each....

Got out at the station and there's a guy holding a sign saying "Nigel Mark". That's a coincidence, I think. Some else arriving at Chiang Mai railway station at same time with almost the same name!

Out wasn't long before we were at the Vanilla Place guesthouse, with a very friendly older man showing us our rooms, and recommending all sorts of places to eat and visit. Right next door was a fairly classy restaurant, where we proceeded to lower the class by spilling drinks and taking mad photos of each other (you get just a little loopy after 12 hours in a train...).

Day: The Fourth To The Seventh

Sorry for the big gap. I got busy once April arrived and had major technology hassles. My smartphone got way too smart for its own (and my) good, and reset itself to Thai language. Unfortunately, I don't have:

a: the Thai language pack installed

b: the ability to read Thai eden if I did.

This meant I could not change it back to Engerish, and nor could anyone else. In the end April opened up the same pages on her phone and eventually muddled thru and got most things going. There's still lots of stuff that is just gibberish. During the process Facebook and Blogger decided someone else was trying to hack my accounts and locked me out. I still can't get into Blogger via my dashboard, so I have had to sneak in through a back door program, meaning I can't see my blog as you see it. What also happened in trying to get the blog back up is that a major update that took me hours to write disappeared. Its very demoralising to think about writing everything all over again, so I didn't. Let me know if its not working out.

So, a quick run down on what has been happening. I took the sky train out to the airport to meet April and Amanda. Its an overhead express train that runs to the airport and other places. Very modern cheap and fast with lots of doors that open with a hiss just like on Star Trek. As I wandered around the fourth floor of the terminal, amidst thousands of people, thinking I'm never going to find them, I hear a shout of "NIGEL". It was April, wearing my bright green Mambo shirt paid off as she came running over to meet me. Big hugs all round, and it was damn fine to see her. We took a taxi back to the hotel, where she had a room with a view of the golden buddhist temple, that I didn't even know was next door. I think she liked the place as it is very different to the plush resort they had been staying in. There was also a visit to a massive dept store fitted in there too.....

That night we had a mission to complete. April had bought clothes with her that, for various reasons, she wanted to get copied. When they stated in Bangkok before going to Phuket, she took them to a taylor near their hotel. To cut a long story down, they had two or three visits, each with rising tensions, ending with a massive shouting match, and some of the original clothes missing, while the copies were far from satisfactory, to the point where the new clothes even had pieces of the originals sown on, not even matching colours! Our mission was to try to sort out the worst of the mis-matches and try to get the missing items back. The sleazy Indian taylor kept calling me "brother" and patting me on the back. The story was he had sent the work out (I suspect he actually does none of the work he says he does) and there was a police raid on the factory. For some reason the police took the clothes as evidence!? So we spent and interesting hour or two at a Thai police station while he tried to explain in his limited Thai to a series of different people, each more disinterested than the last. Needless to say, no joy there. However, we did get an undertaking from him to fix the various problems, and arranged to collect the clothes the next day. After that we went to Khoasan Rd, the backpacker area which was really pumping, bright lights and drunk travellers, markets and touts, food and smells. Fresh orange juice, pad thai, and banana pancakes, all from street trolleys. April ordered some IDs, I tried to find the ones I had paid for, we did some shopping and went home.

The next day we organised a boat trip on the Bangkok River. It was in one of those skinny long-tail boats, with a car engine on gimbals (sp?), that speed up and down thai rivers. As there was seating for about 12, I asked two Dutch families staying in the guesthouse to join us. Great fun, saw a 1 1/2 meter long lizard sunning itself, travelled various Klongs (navigation canals built way before anything like them was ever made in Europe, and ended up at the flower and vegetable markets down river.

That afternoon April had a bit more "essential" shopping to do.....so she went back to heaven.. errrrr MKS, eight storeys, more than a kilometre long, more than 5000 shops, many of which are maket stalls so you can bargain. And does she what.... I doubt if the locals could do better. I stated back at the inn, chatting with the two Dutch families, and playing with the dads and kids with my new toy steam boat in the little pond, while having a few cold ones. I think we both could not have been happier!

When she got back, we sallied forth to do battle with our friend from the sub-continent. We arrived an hour later than we said we would but nothing was done. He said we had to wait an hour (yeah right, there was lots to do, it would take more than an hour, and it was 8pm already). We said we had been waiting for long enough and that he could send it to our hotel. April even offered to pay for the motorbike delivery. The while thing ended up with him shouting, me trying to explain that it was actually his responsibility to sort out what he had been paid to do, and please, stop calling me brother all the time, and his wife trying to calm him down. In the end we left, took a photo of his business (the petty prick took a photo of us taking a photo) and walked away, not expecting to see Aprils clothes again. However, some time around midnight they did turn up.

More later.

Day: The Third Part Too

I'm sure once April is here and we go on the road, I will not be prattling on so much. But in the meantime it's a good way to occupy my time, keep you up to date and as a diary.

I was going to have a nap yesterday, but again that didn't happen. I  went for a walk and then got a taxi to Khoasan Rd (Rice Thresher Rd), to do some shopping and see if it had changed. The answer to that is yes and no. It's still a zoo, with hoards of sweaty  young backpackers, with fresh angry-looking tattoos, and way too much skin showing, only a whole lot more than before. The touts are still the same, even down to the turbaned Indian sadus trying to get you to let them do your fortune. The main difference is that there are so many people and the footpath stalls have encroached on the road so much that it isn't really possible to drive up the road any more. Its now a pedestrian mall. I ordered some fake IDs for jake and I to be collected today. They are a laugh, you can even get diplomatic credentials, as well as student, drivers and scariest of all, PADI open water diving certificates! If anyone wants me te get them one, just email me a passport photo. Then I found a quieter street one block over, sat in a nice streetside bar and ordered lunch. One of my favorite Thai dishes is the spicy seafood salad, and this one was really spicy. I ate most of it wile being gently and carefully looked after by a nice waitress, in the Thai manner. A large bottle of Chang beer was welcome, and as the intense heat got to it, she kept bringing small amounts of ice to put in my glass. An hour and half slipped by, as the beer slipped down, cooling my chilli hit, and I people watched from my slightly elevated comphy chair. The waitress directed me to a shoe shop a few blocks away from the madness, and was very happy with the 30 baht tip on top of my 170 baht bill. All up that's $8.

I needed the shoe shop because I hadn't bought sandals. Not sure why, but some knock-off Diesel ones didn't blow the day's budget. Got a tuktuk home. You have to watch those guys, they are the only people I have come across here who will regularly rip you off. I now have the routine of getting a meter taxi (beware the unmetered ones, they are just luxury tuktuks) the first time I go somewhere to know the base price. For example the tuktuk driver who hovers down the end of the side road the inn is on tried to gouge me for 100 baht for the trip to Khoisan Rd, and wouldn't come down to my offer of 40 baht. I just walked away, grabbed a taxi (there are hordes of them, I have never waited more than a minute or two, and usually its straight away) that cost 45 baht and had the aircon up full. Coming home I used a tuktuk driven by a toothless old man, who couldn't read the address map the inn gives out for this purpose. Another driver told him where I needed to go, we agreed on 30 baht (starting price 50), and away we went in a cloud of two-stroke smoke. He was very happy with the 40 I gave him, posed for a picture and smoked off into the distance.

Showered, walked down the road to the 7-eleven for some beer and water and made it back just before the evening monsoon started. Sat in the nice covered area under the inn,  watched the rain tip down and the lightning flash, and relaxed. Went back out later for dinner, pork mince with Thai holy basil (one of my favorites) and came home to watch a programme on my 'droid phone. It's not a bad way to watch, especially if I take off my glasses and peer myopically at the quite small screen close up. Interesting thing happened on the way home (sounds like a start to a bad joke). The taxi driver who pulled over at my signal was stopped as soon as we started to leave by a cop who shook him down for 100 baht "instant cash fine" for stopping illegally... I paid half for him as the fare was only 47 baht (less than $ 2). The driver said "police worse than mafia" as he has to pay someone else some kind of money each week too. All in all, an interesting day. Oh yeah, got some new, quality, Tin Tin t-shirts in the tourist market. It was too hot to argue so I paid too much, but still good price really.

Me: 8/10 and having a great time

Best food: most definitely the breakfast

Best drink: the fresh orange juice from one of the many hand carts in the street. Squeezed from these very small, very green looking oranges, put in a bottle and stored in the bin of ice. Very cold, very intense flavour, very yummy. I want one now!

Day: The Third

Awake at 7.30, but unable to get out of bed for an hour... on one level last night was a mistake, but I wouldn't have missed it for anything. This is an amazing city, a world of its own in many ways. Its my third day and I have not seen a blade of grass yet. That's the truth. Ten million + people, and you know it.

Ok, on with the show. Breakfast was another delight. I'm sure one day soon I will crave a Weetbix (phone keeps auto-correcting that to "cervix"!) but for now I'm loving the strange combinations of flavors that are dished up every morning here. Today it was fresh pineapple juice again with quarters of something that looked and tasted like a scarlet crisp pear, but wasn't. It had a side garnish of salt, lemon juice, sugar and fine chopped fresh chili, heated (I'm getting to know the chef! Booked a free cooking lesson with him on Tuesday). Then garlic chilli bread (very mild on the chilli tho) with a pumpkin mash that had a little cooked rice in it, lime, hint of coriander and topped with toasted sunflower. It came with a cherry tomato salad on lettuce with a Thai basil pesto over. Big cup (no small cup for me now, they are getting to know me!) of black coffee with a dollop of cane sugar syrup. All this is costing me $50 a day WIFI included. I could consider never going home if me darin' was here with me.... Not sure what I will do today but back in my room with the aircon on, feeling full and tired. I can see a nap attack in my near future.

Day: The Second

For hours sleep isn't too bad in the  circumstances. Great breakfast, included with room. Fresh pineapple juice, watermelon, mushroom boiled rice, with traditional side dishes (a kind of soup with flat asian mushrooms, rice, and various fresh herbs like coriander, basil, and celery leaves as well as some unidentified dried roots; very good so I threw everything in the soup) and two cups of espresso. The tea and toast also on offer wasn't difficult to turn down.

Then out for a walk around the neighborhood. I needed a belt as braces don't work with your shirt untucked and its way too hot any other way. A small shop a block away had belts, so 80 baht later ($ 2.60) I could walk without fear of flashing the natives. The nice lady even punched the holes in. Around the corner was a little hole-in-the-wall cellphone shop, so I bought a Thai SIM, and some phone credit. Just over $ 2 for the SIM, and local calls 8¢/min. Then the fun started as we tried to get the data side to work. After an hour on the phone to the telco, then the local samsung support line, we finally had it going. The phone is not a model sold here so it took a bit of sorting. Crossed the road to a glasses shop, and got an eye test and a pair of prescription bifocals, with unbendable titanium frames for 1/3 nz price but still a very big hole in my holiday budget (gulp). Wandered the streets on the way home, found a Vespa shop, and tried to hire one but no go. Got the number of someone selling one so will call about some kind of buy-back for my trip down the coast after getting back from Chiang mai. Back to the inn to cool off and dry out my shirt!

I've seen some sights already, like a guy up to his armpits in a sewer, a bus company which I swear was called "Strapon Buses" and a snack called "HoboSkank" (I think I would steer clear of that one for at least two reasons!). Check out the photo of the gas bottle delivery guys vehicle too.

Tried to sleep a bit in the afternoon, but brain would not shut down so watched Stephen Fry in America on my 'droid before going out for the evening with someone I know from the Suzuki TS motorbike forum I admin. Wisit is an in-house graphic designer for a major Singapore  based company. I met him at an up market plaza in the centre of Bangkok, about 12 km from here. Lots of expensive brands and two story high video boards showing all the same ads for the same movies as we see in NZ. When Wisit arrived he had two friends from his work with him. Wisit doesn't speak much English, but one friend was the translator in English for his company and the other was the translator for Chinese. It was really good to spend time with real Thai people, and just doing the stuff they like to do. There's a night market that Wisit wanted to go to, to look for parts for the ' 76 Suzuki GT250 he had just bought. It was amazing, a big empty lot with lots of old car and motorbike parts, as well at old and new clothes, books, household items, toys etc. Not that much different to a market in NZ, except for the monsoon shower, skewers of chicken bits abs squid cooking, complete lack of Europeans,  and the fact that it ends well after midnight. There were even the usual counter-culture types, long hair and tattoos, VW Combies etc. What excited me was the old cars and motorbikes that people turned up in. Honda Benleys, Suzuki T125, Minis, Fiat 131, Beetles, big american tanks, old Datsuns, even a Vauxhall Viva. Nothing earlier than the '60s. I bought an new toy boat like I used to have as a kid, with the candle powered putt-putt steam engine, and arranged to meet a guy next week when I'm back to look at a lot of old Suzuki stuff he has. By now it was midnight, and the boys wanted to party, but I had a body that was telling me it was 5am, so they kindly drive me back to the inn. 14 km took about 75 minutes even this late, and involved dozens of back streets and narrow one lanes alleys as the GPS directed. Every street was busy, with garage factory doors open to the hot humid night, people working on sewing, and packing, assembling, and selling. We went thru a market that stretched for blocks, where covered market walkways disappeared into the night, and the guys told me this was where the prostitutes were. They knew who they were in the street, but I couldn't tell. Its sure wasn't like Manchester St. You can't mistake the business women there!

We got back about 1.30ish, sat in the courtyard and had a couple of beers and talked until 3. Amazing amazing night. Thanks guys, I will remember this. It was good to get to bed as I had only had 4 hours sleep in the last 50....

Me: 10/10 on one level, 2/10 on another....

Food:  The MK chain restaurant that the lads took me to for Thai-style steam-boat. Was sure it it would have been the breakfast, but that dinner was great.

Drink:  Chang beer was good, if a little savage for a lager at 6.4%, but the bottle of cold green tea Wisit bought for me at the night market was very welcome in the heat.

P.s Decided not to rate the good and drink, just award for the best of the day. Its all too different to compare by numbers.

Day, The First, Part Too

Last blog I did always finished with a small score section, the idea for which was plagiarized from someone else's blog. Somehow I don't think I'm going to find a whole lot of pies on this trip, so I have to come up with something else. As I was getting some money changed at the airport, the Malayan guy counting out the cash and I got into a conversation about food and why one travels. I said it was the second most important reason why I travel. He said it was the main reason, and by the size of him, I'd day he does a fare (pun intended) bit of traveling. So I think that that's what I will do. I love Thai food, and if Thailand hadn't changed much since last time, then food is going to be a driving force in our trip. And beer, of course. Its early in the day, but the beer they served with lunch is going to take some beating today. I have heard of James Squire, but its the first taste for me. Their Golden Ale is a treat; thick, very good colour, fruit notes (pineapple? Ginger?)  white dense head, rather malt-sweet, and enough hops to balance so without IPA pretentions. I couldn't say its the best Aussie beer I have ever had (how could you as long as they make Coopers Stout!?), but I really want to try their other brews. And they do make a stout and an IPA...

Lunch on the plane was pork sausages, pumpkin mash, green beans and salad. Nice!

Me: 4\10. Have problems with aching legs at the best of times, so no sleep til Hammersmith...errrrr Bangkok

Food: baby pork sausages on the plane. Big tick, Qantas... 9/10 on the airline food scale

Drink: 7.5/10 James Squire Golden. Forced me to rethink my opinion on commercial Aussie beers but Epic Ipa was never under threat of being knocked off the perch

Day, The First

It's no fun leaving your ever lovin' behind, but I am looking forward to this trip so much. Three weeks away riding most of the time. Woohoo! Here's the plan.

Arrive in Bangkok about midnight local time Friday. Crash, and not burn, surface sometime saturday. Most important, find the best banana pancake street stall. (time for a Marx aside; The backpackers trail in Asia is sometimes called the Banana Pancake Trail these days. For some reason so many people eat masses of banana pancakes while they're traveling and at no other time! If they are so good why don't we have them at home?) Sunday I will try to meet up with Wisit, a Thai guy who had some old Jap motorbikes that I met thru the Suzuki TS forum. Monday meet April at the airport as she sees her friend Amanda off. After that we pretty much wing it. Plan A is to head into the northern mountains at Chang Mai, hire scooters, and ride toward Laos. After that, April heads home  and I have about a week and a half, and will probably head down the east side of the Gulf of Siam toward Cambodia  again on a scooter.

I'm learning a new blogger program so the format may change as I get to grips with it

Its going to be a big day, it'll be about 6 am NZ time when I get there.

Testing

Testing