Day: The Sixteenth

Its a transit day, really. I get away from the hotel about 11, and straight away know I'm dehydrated, my new B80 belt has let me down and it's very very hot. I doubt very much that all the events were linked, but you never know. The first problem is solved, along with the third, by quickly spotting an aircon coffee shop. Along the road was a trestle table and tarp market. This belt cost me B100, ($4) so it had better last longer.

The ride to Ko Samet (or Kho Samet, or Ko Samed or Kho Samat or any combination) was pretty normal Thai countryside of small farms, but the road edge was almost continuous strip developments, small shops houses, office blocks etc, as well as about ten resort developments with the occasional random mega highrise by the sea.

I got to the Ko Samet  ferries about 3.30, and asked about taking the scoot to the island. I was told no, and it would cost B50 a day to park it. Bugger, it would cost me B300 a day to hire another scooter on the island.

The ferry was an old wooden two decker, slightly sway-backed and vaguely junk-like. The nine of us aboard occupied a small area upstairs, out of at least 60 seats. There seemed to be at least three ferry companies, all running on the hour..... So there was a bit of a rush to get out the harbour and on the way. It seemed to be there was a way for one of the companies to get a sales advantage, by going on the half hour....

About 40 min of diesel thumping later, we pulled up beside two identical ferries at a wharf on the island. This means we have to jump from one ferry to the next, in a reasonable swell, until we reach the concrete. There, it's a jumble of jetties and wharfs, old and being built, with people loading and unloading about a dozen boats. There's a big new wharf being built, by workers, almost completely covered, even faces with scarves. Arc welders are being used while only wearing sunglasses or nothing at all, grinders without eye protection, and about one in five has a hard hat.

I've found a guest house that looks interesting on Tripadviser. The owner is a Scot, called Lizzy. I've never seen reviews so polarised. It seems everyone either loves Lizzy or hates her. A ride on the back of a pickup to Baan Puu Paan (Baan-house, Puu-of, Paan-commander, The Commander's House) cost B150, over a narrow broken up strip of concrete. I'm greeted by a shortish mid-40s tanned blonde woman, with a deep Glaswegian voice, and a big smile. "I'm Lizzy, do you want a drink?"

"Actually, a room, but I'm not booked"

There's three spare rooms out of six, so I choose the more modest one, not over the water, but it looks out over the sea and is only half the price at $28 a night. Big double bed, air con, shower over toilet cubicle with only cold water (however by the time its been in the outside water tank for a while, its not that cold). I unpack, rest for a while and then walk around the building  to the restaurant for that beer.

Lizzy is there doing what she does best, pouring drinks, and telling stories. Some of the drinks she is pouring are for herself. You see Lizzy rather likes a drink. I gather it runs in the family a bit. Her birthday is 3rd january, and her mother was dead drunk at the time, from an on-going New Years party.

One of the reasons for coming here, other then the apparently outrageous (but becoming more believable by the minute) stories about the host, was the reputation of the food. Even the reviews that said don't stay here said come here to eat. The chef is a self-taught 20 yr old Thai guy who has a real talent. Lizzy gives him free rein, he orders and makes whatever he wants. I had baguette roasted with goat cheese, Moroccan Tuna Skewers, and chilli scallops spaghetti. Fan-fucking-tastic. He also makes little chilled spoon deserts which the staff give away to anyone waking past. I had a clotted cream and fudge with a mint leaf. Espresso and a Black Label mmmmmmm.

In the mean time, Lizzy is telling stories about her nine years in Thailand. Legally and morally, I probably can't repeat them in entirety, but they included lines like "and there he was with his block and tackle hanging out" and "I grabbed the blind guy's hand, rubbed it on my tits and said ta him "Even though I've got a deep voice, that's braille for woman""!!